I am and always have been a “girl’s girl.” Not a sneak peek into my dating life (that’s a whole other special report), what I mean is I’ve never been one of those women who says: “I get along better with men.”
I love girl talk, I love “girlie” activities, and I naturally gravitate towards female company and conversation. We listen, give advice and lend a hand when needed; we dish about our lives, our work, our men and our clothes. It’s all very Sex & The City.
Work has been no exception. In many jobs, the female friendships I made lasted far beyond my last day at work. In at least one case I can tell you the relationship I developed with my boss was the absolute best part of the job.
But there’s a dark side to working with women. While at a fashion magazine in Miami, for example, I witnessed (and was the victim of) some of the most competitive, gossipy, territorial, queen-bee, backstabbing behavior I’d seen since high school. Behavior that went unacknowledged, unaddressed and, sadly, unpunished.
I realize that female rivalry isn’t something we like to talk about, because it implies that we feel competitive with other women, and none of us likes to admit that we feel insecure or that we compare ourselves to our girlfriends, colleagues or sisters.
But to deny that rivalry exists is a mistake – especially if you’re trying to get ahead in your career. Female competition is a fundamental part of who we are; it has existed and persisted through millions of years of evolution, and has been sociologically and culturally reinforced for several thousand more.
Understanding these complex and at times contradictory influences on our female relationships is essential to getting ahead in work and in life – at least if you plan on working (well) with women. If you don’t understand the female competitive urge – where it comes from, what it centers on, how it’s manifested, and what to do about it, get ready for a career filled with stress, bitterness, and insecurity.
What do you think about HOW and WHY women play dirty, and do you have any stories? Please share them here!
If you’re interested in downloading the entire Special Report I wrote on this subject, you can right here: http://www.michellevillalobos.com/report/freeoffer.html